#and never her romantic rinterest

[theshinobiway]

I read your other two posts about shipping nejiten and why you dont. I think you make good arguments about how marrying neji would take away tenten's freedom but I was actually wondering about how you view the ship from the perspective of someone who is married? Sorry of that doesn't make sense. I mean like how compatible you think their personalities are if the story was written differently.

Hey there anon!

So this will be my third time addressing the pairing and not to say it's any fault of yours, but I hope it's the last.

I care most about what makes a character develop in a way that is meaningful and beneficial for the overarching story. This extends into the pairings I choose to ship. I've also never been a big shipper to begin with and I'm indifferent to most pairings from any show I watch.

I also am married. Personally, fictional ships or shipping wars do not interest me in the slightest. I'd rather focus on my own, real, interpersonal relationships.

To expand on why I don't like talking about this pairing in particular: it's because I have been openly harassed by fans of the pairing both on this blog and on a previous blog that I eventually closed because my inbox blew up with angry stans that, a few years ago, I was not mentally equipped to handle. I've responded to around two to three asks openly on the blog, but at this point I've deleted in the range of 10-12 messages that I did not see fit to dignify with a response.

I figure that most of these comments come from underage followers who are too immature to understand complexities of romantic relationships or are simply too disinterested in talking about the literature to have open discourse with. They just want to ship what they believe the characters are like, have headcanons, and ignore the evidence contrary. As an adult, I have to handle this with patience and understanding. I'm not about to rage on any anon follower because I don't know their age or personal circumstances. And frankly, a fictional pairing is not worth tearing someone down over–I speak from experience.

Now, on to answering your question in full:

When it comes to the narrative, there isn't a common thread (theme, motif, storyline, etc.) that ties Neji and Tenten together. They both have the goal to get stronger, (As is the theme of team Gai at large) but Neji's story is MOST closely tied to Hinata/The Hyuga, Lee, and Naruto (in that order.) All three of those characters are sufficient enough to spur Neji's growth in his own arc. Tenten's support as a teammate is also sufficient enough. They are good battle partners (combining long range and short range) but the same is also said for Tenten and Lee. There's nothing special here. Nothing that screams "chemistry" or that "stands out."

The reason people love pairings such as SnS, NaruSaku, NaruHina, Sasusaku, SaiIno, ShikaTema, etc. is because all of these pairings have two partners that can equally contribute to the other's growth. Neji and Tenten simply do not have this. Tenten adds nothing to Neji that he does not already have: her support already comes from multiple other people in his life that understand his situation better. Tenten is often shown having a more common thread with Lee: they are both ninja that came from no special background and are overcoming their own weaknesses to pave their own path. You might say Tenten could humanize Neji or humble him, but Naruto and Lee already do that. Neji's closest female relationship is with Hinata, and that's where we see him become softer and more patient. Hinata is the one that humanizes Neji the most, and it's because they also share a same arc: literally, the Hyuga clan arc. She has the emotional intelligence to reach Neji and the position to make him believe in the determination of the once-talentless. That's THEIR arc as siblings.

I would also like people to ask themselves what exactly Neji can offer Tenten. In the reverse, I strongly can affirm that Neji does NOTHING for Tenten. He can train with her? So can the rest of her team, and she does. He can encourage her? So can the rest of her team, and they do–far more than Neji. He can calm her down when Gai/Lee do their antics? Okay, but is being a walking pacifier really a great foundry for a relationship? (Also, as Tenten gets older, part of her personal development is finally accepting her own goofy side and joining in!) In fact, his relationship and subsequent would inhibit her stated goals and dreams.

Tenten flat out does not want to have a traditional, feminine lifestyle of getting married. And as a married person, it's not impossible to understand why! Relationships and marriages are HARD work! It's not sailing into the sunset with kids and a house! They require commitment and upkeep! Sacrifice! They are a huge stressor (even the best marriages!) and you must balance the feelings and dreams of another person when you are deciding your future and make personal sacrifices.

Tenten wants to follow her hobbies and her dream is one of self-determination. Marrying Neji means introducing a rigid, hierarchical clan structure for which Tenten has no experience/interest in and is ill-prepared to handle. Her blunt, insensitive attitude would not fare well in the formal atmosphere of Hyuga affairs–this isnt a shoujo of rich guy/average girl. This is a shounen. She'll be expected to raise children and retire/hiatus from her career. This expectation does not help her goals or dreams and effectively halts her personal development.

In fact, had this pairing actually happened, shippers might have been happy that their pairing "made it," but I have no doubt that people would have ALSO called Tenten yet ANOTHER victim of Kishi's 'housewife' troupe next to Sakura and Temari. Making her Neji's wife erases what little personal identity and development she had. Why would you want to put the ONE woman who pursued her career and goals in a relationship and erase that? Because they have an aesthetic? I surely hope you never then complain about the fates of Sakura or Temari, then!

And on that note, "fixing the writing" to where Tenten is an 'empowered working mom' does NOT address Tenten's personal desires. I see this most often discarded in favor of ANY of her ships.

Tenten's purpose in the story is to show a woman who branches out from the norm. I also seldom see a woman in any story who is as balanced and flawed as she is while still being lovable. Also, despite relegating the other kunoichi to housewife status, Kishi deliberately let Tenten be a single woman who is not criticized for her decision. Japan itself still has a traditional mindset in that regard, and seeing the other cast members treat Tenten as normal–not even commenting on her relationship status–is a quiet, but no less significant addition to the story. It normalizes career women in a traditional atmosphere.

Gag about her store aside, Tenten's shop isn't doing poorly because she's a bad businesswoman or a spinster. It's been clearly stated by Tenten herself that it's because they are in a time of peace. Again, a small but significant detail that gets overlooked in Tenten's story. As Boruto progresses and war seems to loom on the horizon, I have no doubt her shop may get more business soon.

Tenten and Neji have the making of good friends and comrades with some common ground, and it's for the betterment of both of them personally that they stayed that way throughout the series. Good relationships add to characters and stories–they don't take things away.

Hopefully this finally puts my full opinions on the matter to rest. Fandom can do whatever it wants, but I'd like to not see any more of the ridiculous "pairing war" nonsense pop up in my inbox. Nejiten has FAR better reasons to stay platonic than it ever will to become canon, even in a rewritten story where Neji lives. If you want a pairing with this aesthetic but actually have chemistry and a shared narrative, look at Ren/Nora of RWBY (which, coincidentally, is actually one of the few pairings I enjoy.)

Thanks for contributing to the blog!